What I mean by is, to become one of those flawless girls who does yoga and makes smoothies every morning; who always has shiny, straight hair and clean shoes.
Obviously I’m half-joking when I say this – no one is actually perfect, and if they were, they’d probably be completely boring. But these days, there seems to be so much pressure to be doing EVERYTHING in an idyllic and photogenic fashion, from eating breakfast (#smoothiebowl!) to being in a relationship (#spoilt #soblessed) that you do sometimes feel as if everyone else is living in a dream world that you’re somehow excluded from (and it’s probably your fault for being so goddamn lazy).
It’s not just relationships, interiors and fitness regimes these dream girls seem to excel in, it’s also their careers. I read a brilliant piece recently by The Pool’s Amy Jones this week where she talks about feeling under pressure to achieve great things in the digital sphere alongside her day job.
“I took a scary new job, which I threw myself into headfirst, revitalised my food blog, started a newsletter, looked into podcasting, began writing a book. I took on every project that sounded interesting in my new job, woke up early to work on my side projects and spent my evenings and weekends running around London or in front of a laptop” she says.
Reading this was like scanning a list of all the things I feel I should be doing. After all everyone else seems to have 20k Instagram followers, a perfect flat in Notting Hill, an award-winning podcast and at least 13 holidays a year, so why haven’t I? The idea of ‘perfection’ is so visible these days that it’s easy to feel like you’re failing to achieve the same things as everyone else, and for someone like me who has always put pressure on myself to achieve ‘the best’ – A grades, an Oxford degree, an excellent shoe collection – this can be particularly stressful.
However, as Amy concludes, trying to achieve absolutely everything is stressful and exhausting.
I think I need to accept that by the age of 30 (I’m 28), I won’t be able to complete my mad checklist, which includes: live abroad, get abs, read all the books anyone has ever mentioned to me, become editor of the Sunday Times Style, own a perfectly-trained dog, buy a scenic cottage with an easy 30-minute commute into London, and have a wedding that’s so wonderful Vogue magazine will approach me and be like “Look, we know we don’t put brides on our front cover but with you we just HAVE to.”
Back in the real world, the problem with my list of (slightly exaggerated) goals is that no one has the time or energy to ‘have it all’.
What’s more, sometimes the facts are against you – when I graduated, I assumed I’d be earning megabucks in a swanky job by now, but the sheer state of the economy (not to mention the journalism industry) means that the days of getting paid loads and being easily promoted through the ranks are long gone. I DO get free shampoo though.
Constantly putting pressure on yourself and living with a ‘What next?’ mentality is draining and unsatisfying. And I’m definitely guilty of it – as soon as I’ve achieved one thing (“Great, I’ve got engaged!”) I’m onto the next (“Maybe I should do another marathon while I plan the wedding?”).
So my goal for next year is to accept that perfection doesn’t really exist and spend a bit more time appreciating the little things I already have, whether that’s an evening with friends or an A-grade cup of tea. There’s nothing wrong with setting resolutions in January – I’ve got a few up my sleeve – but above all be realistic and use your aims as motivation rather than a stick to beat yourself with.
Happy new year!