Running is amazing – for all the reasons I listed here, there’s a lot to be said for popping on your trainers and heading out the front door.
However, there are a few *niche* gripes that you only recognise once you start to run regularly. Introducing the problems only runners will understand…
1. When people take up the ENTIRE pavement in front of you.
Your patience level for pavement hogging reaches zero when you’re running. Okay, you’re not an arsehole – a mum with a buggy or someone in a wheelchair can’t help taking up a narrow path. But when you have a group of three people walking astride TOWARDS you and they still don’t get out the frickin’ way, you’re sorely tempted to just trundle on right through them.
2. Anyone who shouts piss-taking ‘encouragement’ at you.
And let’s be honest, any randomer (usually a 13-year-old boy) who shouts ‘faster’ at you in the street is taking the piss.
3. Discovering your headphones have tangled themselves into oblivion.
This ALWAYS happens on those days when you’re short on time. And you always stare at your headphones in disbelief like ‘What the hell, I only left you alone for half an hour and you’ve done this to yourself!!
Oh my god is there anything worse? The answer is no, no there isn’t.
5. Getting home from a ‘needing the loo’ run to find that some other household member is in the bathroom
This is a true test of love and loyalty for everyone involved in the situation.
6. Disobedient traffic lights
Ok so here’s the thing: occasionally, you’ll be in your running groove, and hope that every pedestrian crossing you come to is green so you can speed on through. Other times, you’re like ‘dear god I’m dying, please let there be a red man coming up’. In both scenarios the traffic lights will do the OPPOSITE of what you require from them *shakes fist*
7. Wet leaves on the ground
Much like all public transport in the UK, your response to travelling through a slippery, sludgy bunch of leaves is basically ‘ugh’.
8. The earbud that constantly falls out of your ear for an entire run
This is a weird one, because you can be wearing the same earbuds for AGES and then suddenly, you’ll go for a run and one side will just continuously pop out despite you ramming it in with ever-increasing force. Did your ear hole get bigger or something? *checks in mirror*
This is the worst (except if you kind of didn’t want to go on your run anyway and you can point outside at the light shower outside like ‘Oh look, I couldn’t POSSIBLY run in this hurricane’.)
10. Beauty articles that tell you only to wash your hair once a week.
Given that post-run your hair looks like it belongs to one of the more disgusting peasants on Game of Thrones, there is no way you’re leaving it seven whole days before washing it… (see below: sexy huh?)
11. Waiting for your watch to get GPS signal
Me to Fitbit: ‘You’re not even trying, are you?’
12. Running + a runny nose
13. When someone overtakes you while they’re running for a bus.
It is truly humiliating when someone wearing jeans, a jumper, smart leather shoes and a shoulder bag sprints past you while you are in FULL RUNNING GEAR. Although in fairness they clearly have more motivation to be putting in a sprint session at that point.
14. People not sympathising with any of your running problems.
Because after all, you have chosen to do this to yourself.